there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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