He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
