At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
MIDGETS
????
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
