dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
