i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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