She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
