Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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