i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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