there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
