Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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