hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
