Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
