How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize