I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
