ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It was like giving head to a cactus.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
