yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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