no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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