i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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