census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
