Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
