Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
