We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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