Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
