it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
