We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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