thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
