He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
