well I can't set my house on fire every night
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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