i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Randomize
