My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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