I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
