I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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