The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
