I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
