He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
