capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize