He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
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There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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