I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
