The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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