"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
