I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
