nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
