Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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