"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
