Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
