I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
