Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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