Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
