At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
