Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize