You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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