shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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