shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
