I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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