the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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