The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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