my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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