At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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